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Ghost in a Teeny Bikini
Theatrical Release: Never Released
DVD Release: August 8, 2006
Blu-ray Release: TBA
Director: Fred Olen Ray
Writers: Fred Olen Ray & Jeff O’Brien
Rating: Unrated
Reviewer: Eric
What do porn stars do whenever they don’t do their job? Simple, they make
softcore movies that appeal to teenagers and anybody else who is afraid to enter
Adult Stores. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini is the latest softcore film from Fred Olen
Ray and truthfully there is enough laughs in here that would make this movie
worth while.
Muffin Baker (Christine Nguyen) is the star of cheesy Hollywood movies. Her
boyfriend, Ted Wood (Voodoo), is the director of all these films Baker stars in.
After filming a sex scene Muffin Maker gets a telegram informing her that her
rich Uncle Cyrus has died, leading her lots of money. Marker and Wood jump on a
plan to Ravenswood Manor for the reading of the will. Her uncle’s attorney,
Archibald Weisenheimer (Brad Bartam), has a different idea and tries to kill
Muffin Baker.
During in time in Ravenswood Manor, the bikini-clad ghost Tabitha (Nicole
Sheridan), tries to help Muffin Baker out, by staying alive enough just so she
can collect her money. Can the sexy ghost do what it takes to save Baker or will
the evil attorney be able to clam all of Uncle Cyrus’s money?
For a softcore porn I thought this movie was funny as hell. If this is the kind
of money that pornstars make when they are not doing money shots then I am
hooked. Instead of taking a normal porn movie and editing out the hardcore
scenes, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini just has sex scenes with well placed items over
certain things that won’t pass with an unrated tag. Take this for example. In
the first sex scene, when it starts to get hot we see the two commandos doing a
formation that is common for most hardcore scenes. The entire time the guy has
his hand placed over the forbidden area, or also known as where the magic
happens. You get my drift.
The lame jokes seem to pour out like water in this movie. With all the boobs on
the screen I couldn’t help but laugh with some of these jokes. This is the sort
of movie that will bring you back to the days when B-Rated movies were just bad,
not really bad like some movies are (see Superhero Movie review). Ghost in a
Teeny Bikini has the sort of humor that will make you laugh after the movie. It
is so corny, but goddamn I love it to the bone.
Ghost in a Teeny Bikini has a few singing parts to, which sort of remind you of
Rocky Horror Picture Show. The songs are not as good, but for the most part you
will be reminded of that movie. Evan Stone is known for hardcore sex scenes and
I think he should add singer to his list. Stone sure knows how to sing, even if
he looks like a jackass in his costume in the film.
All of the women in this movie seem to be testing their acting skills. Rebecca
Love seemed to be the only female pornstar that got into her part. She acts like
a complete idiot in this movie and her one liners and funny as hell. Love might
be known for her hardcore scenes but like Evan Stone I think she has more talent
as well, even if a certain object isn’t inside of her.
Now for the part of the movie the DVD that sucks. There are only two special
features on here, both of which seem exactly the same. The bloopers are funny
for awhile; it’s a great way to show that pornstars know how to have fun, even
if it means showing footage how they can’t remember all their lines. Finally the
behind the scenes look is more of the same, just not as full of funny scenes. If
you want to consider the ten second clip of Ray Retromedia’s website then you
have three features on this DVD.
I also wanted to point out that this movie has no scene selection. This is
one of the newest DVDs I have seen that has no selection screen. If you want to
jump to your favorite scene then you’ll have to do it the old fashion way.
Final Verdict
Most people will pass on this movie because it is a softcore porn. If you are
one of those people that hasn’t grown up then by all means pass on this funny
movie. However if you do pick this one up then you’ll be treated to a classic
B-Rated movie, with plenty of boobs to please men all around the globe.
Rating
8 out of 10
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