Grandpa John’s Pork Cracklins
Reviewer: Eric
I have no idea what I was thinking.
Why in the world would I pick up a product that has a name like this?
No I was completely fine and sober at the time. Something in my brain
told me this product might be good…wait no I saw the 20% more and
thought I was getting a killer deal.
Who likes fried pork fat? I don’t
and I didn’t realize Grandpa John was selling me that. It’s in small
print under the Pork Cracklins name. Pork Cracklins could have given
it away but I grew up in an area where the closest thing I got to
Southern
eating was friend chicken and that really isn’t a Southern thing
anymore.
Depending on the bag you get, Grandpa
John’s Pork Cracklins can either give you a few smaller fried pork
fat bites or you can enjoy just a few huge pieces that will make you
want to throw up. These things taste like fish food and they even smell
like fish food. Oh before you say anything I have tried fish food before
on a dare so leave me alone. Grandpa John I think is out to piss off
consumers with his product and I will explain why.
The packaging is nice and small, goes
nice near the potato chips aisle in grocery stores. This yellow package
has a green heading with the 20% wording. At $1.50 with these colors,
that heading, and a cool looking farmer you would have done the same
thing. But now though all I see is a farmer that is way too young to
be Grandpa John and stupid colors that make me mad.
Looking at the back is a nightmare.
The serving size will put 80 calories in your body, 20mg of cholesterol,
and here is the killer 450mg of sodium. Holy cow shit, Grandpa “I
am too young to be called a Grandpa” John is trying to kill us.
See I told you so!
Final Verdict
This is one product I will not want
to eat again. Grandpa John’s Pork Cracklins are a disgusting snack
that will only please the 5% people who enjoy shit like this. Pass it
up in grocery stores and don’t even joke about it when you’re near
it. The only thing I recommend doing is buying this product, throwing
it directly on the ground near the cashier, and step on it. The cashier
will think you have problems but just tell them right after the stomping
that you saved their life.
Rating
2 out of 10
